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 " Throw me all things bad, but I'll always find my way back up. " Credits
| I AM FREAKING EXHAUSTED
Last friday was the end of the cca recruitment in tp. and FINALLY, made up my mind which to sign up for. tp students' union, sports club and volleyball. this is the least we could do to stay tgt...hope it's all worthwhile. it hadnt been great for me for the past week. firstly, abt studies in poly. the books are seriously freaking expensive here. thats one. two, i feel tt i somehow wasnt able to catch up with lectures. third, why are tutorials endless? it seems, though. i'm beginning to wonder if i can ever make it big in this area. secondly, abt the life in poly. after one whole week, i still feel kinda wierd here. i feel...so outcast and lost. though it may not seem as though what i'm saying. it feels like...in 4e1. it's not that i'm not making the effort, but rather a piece of jigsaw that cannot fit into the picture because the shape is not the right one. i almost wanted to close my doors again. but i know, that if i do, that's the end of me for the rest of the year. next, the pile of work is certainly gonna drive me mad. i'm so so so deprived of my sleep. it feels worse than last year, serious. i'm SERIOUSLY freakin exhausted. for the past days i've been wondering. how long can my motivation last? how long can my feelings last? and how long can i take to hate everything before me. i'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. i mean not totally cos of studies...but anw, i'm rly trying very hard to hide it. and yes, the pessimist is returning. everything's well, i shall say, superficial. it's like, you're in your own world man. do you know? you think that everyone's with you. but hello? can you please open your eyes big and take a look? life sucks, rly. i had been fooling my own thoughts, even i knew it. but i seriously wanted to chuck it. I DISLIKE YOU. ONE MORE THING, PPL. if you think you understood what i wrote, in actual fact, you dont. because it wasnt meant for you to understand...  |  |
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